The Intrusive Guard

Have you ever been searched? Silly question I know, seeing as how if you live in the 21st century it is an experience you have probably been subjected to at one time or another (Unless you are the one doing the searching). There are very few places you can gain access to these days without getting searched, be it schools, banks, hospitals, malls and even churches (Yes, you need to get searched first prior to going before God).  The most appropriate question I believe is, how did it make you feel, to know that despite being completely innocent or lacking any hostile intentions you are still treated like a suspected criminal?

Now, do not get me wrong. I understand the need for these security measures in our current society. With all sorts of terrorists and savages running around one can not be too careful. But despite the obvious need for these measures there are those who take things a little too far.

Some time back I had a rather displeasing pre-altercation with a security guard. There I was minding my business as I made my way to a different section of the institution I was in (name withheld for job security purposes). Before long, I got to the gate and was met by a dark roasted coffee bean brown (that is the color that best matches his complexion) security guard with the early signs of a growing pot belly. As was, or rather is the norm, I presented my bag for checking after zipping it open. What followed next was a privacy violation of epic proportions.

The fellow proceeded to plunge (Yes, plunge) his hand into the depths of my bag without warning. You probably think I am exaggerating this. Well let me describe it in great detail. Once  he began it was difficult to hold still. It was as if he was trying to shove himself into the bag like some cartoon character. Looking at the him one would think he had “reliable” intel that I was carrying a firearm or something of the sort. Kind of reminds me of back in primary when you would lend someone (keyword lend) your bottle of juice, give explicit and detailed instructions for them to only take a sip and they proceeded to wrap their lips around the mouth of the bottle and drink nay, suck out the juice in a disgusting manner thus rendering it undrinkable to anyone else. What happened courtesy? Even doctors who get to touch a patient’s private body parts usually give some warning like, “I am now going to touch your chest area. Are you ready?”

The search lasted for 15 seconds (Yes, I counted) and during that time I had felt rage simmering within. It took all I had not to yank his sweaty hand out and mae-ashi mawashi geri his posterior to the floor. Once done he moved back, smiled and proceeded to say “Sasa unaeza enda” (Translation: Now you can go). I kept my eyes on him giving him a snake eyes stare throughout. “Who is this man?” I thought. That search was so extreme not even the American Customs agency could top that.

Now I know some may argue that he was just doing his job but come on. If he really wanted to know what was in there all he had to do was ask. What was even more infuriating is that the next guy simply opened his bag slightly, the guard took a quick glance and let him through. What the fudge cake? (Keeping it PG) What was I, a trial run? Or maybe he had eaten some oily snack and used the inside of my bag to wipe off the excess residue on his hands. The point is, if guards are going to display this kind of non-courteous intrusive behavior then they should not be surprised if and when someone decides to speak out through words or fists.

Till next time. Vaarwel

K.O. Uit